STILLS BY WINN (Daang Norte Noong Oktubre)

STILLS BY WINN (Singapore)

STILLS BY WINN

BATTLING LUNG CANCER

Hi Peeps.

Whew. Been months since ive posted a blog. Know why? i freakin don't know. Nyahaha. Well, basically because i've been busy with work and i'm quite tired when i go home and my mind is not working and all i do is listen to my music and READ READ READ... my books, my fave blogs and news since i havent had time to watch tv in a regular hours wherein todays news is already summarized haha. Im updated though, since internet is like my connection to the whole world. i really mean all. nyahah. anyways, aside from my work, its been a roller coaster tough rough months for my family. i wont blog regarding music as of now cause i want to share a story about my brother.

My first blog here at blogspot is about my Dad who passed away 9 months ago. 2 months after that, my eldest brother was diagnosed with a rare type of lung cancer, Bronchiolovascular Carcinoma, its usually for neverbeen smokers according to wikipedia. My family is facing another fatal disease. My brother who was diagnosed in another country came home to have a lobectomy since its the recommended procedure so that the cancer wont spread. It was done immediately and one fourth of his lung was removed.After the operation, Intravenous Chemotherapy was advised. After talking to an oncologist, we were quite shock because there are 3 rates for chemotherapy wherein it ranges from 8k to 70k per cycle for the medicines alone meaning with all professional fees and hospitalization, we'll be spending around 120k per cycle. We went to Lung Center Manila for a second opinion, its still the same rates, however, the resident oncologists made it lower by helping us getting discounts so the chemo sessions per cycle wil be lower, with the best medicines for chemo, professional fees and hospitalizations, and his main oncologist even made it easy by suggesting that the next chemo sessions will already be in Baguio..and all that for 70k per cycle, every 21 days. Its still expensive but we know that it will be the best for my bro.

My main concern here is that, its just so sad that people who was diagnosed with this sickness have no other options regarding the chemotherapy (Its like you-can-have-the-best-medicine-if-you-have-money). I also went to pcso to ask help for medicines and i met a lot of people whose seeking help mostly cancer and dialysis patients, most of them also seeked help from the senators and other politicians and sadly, the highest they can get is around 1k. It took me a day to process the first and second step, almost 1 month for a claiming it and thats just 1 gram of my bro's meds and for a cycle(every 21 days), he needs 4 grams. Ive talked to a lot of patients and patients relatives there that it pains me to see and hear that a lot of them is very hard up even for the the lowest rate of chemo drugs. Kami nga na kahit papanu may pagkukuhanan e nahihirapan, paano na lang sila? I wish and hope that the government will focus more on providing better medicines for the poor especially this kind of sickness wherein even the most health conscious, healthy living human can be diagnosed. I wish more foundations, Cancer organizations and free best medicines will be put up so that patients who cant afford the best medicine possible can have it free. In the near future, ill be wanting to put up a cancer foundation, ill just analyze, think and plan how i can start and how to do it but definitely ill do something about it.

My brother's gone through 4 cycles of chemotherapy and cleared after 4 months. It was a long, hard process but with Dad's guidance Up above and God's greatness, we battled cancer. My brother's under remission now and we will keep on praying for a healthy life for all of us. The Light Is Always Up peeps. All we have to do is always turn it on. To God be the Glory. Byers Peeps. Winn Out.

IM INLOVE WITH GAVIN DEGRAW

Hi Peoplehood.

Sorry took me awhile to follow up my "supposedly" music blog. I planned to feature daily my favorite musicians that i've heard in my tv series soundtrack madness but i've been to job hunt this past days, got in and started immediately and thank God its a weekend off, got to do what i had to do. Whew! And back to my featured artist for today...and its Gavin Degraw!

To those who haven't heard him, he's the voice behind One Tree Hill's opening credits..." I don't want to be anything other than what i've been tryin' to be lately....." see?? i bet if you're a Tree Hill fan you'll be singing the line now nyahah.

After hearing Degraw in that song, ive been a fan since then. Followed up his career and liked his other songs too. Gavin Degraw is a songwriter and musician from New York, plays piano and guitar. As mentioned, he got his big break singing the theme song for One Tree Hill and also appeared in the show for several times. His songs since then are always in the US billboards and also had nominations in some award shows and had hit albums, concerts and singles. " Im Inlove With a Girl" which was released last year is an upbeat song that has a spice of rap in it, arrangement is superb. Gavin Degraw's music is always alive and unpredictable. You wont know what's the next note cause every stanza or even every sentence is different from the other stanza, but still you can sing along with him .. Sorry cant seem to explain it, but its like the feeling of being in a discohouse wherein you dont know whats the next track. whoosh!! sorry dont know how to elaborate it still nyahah. Eventhough his voice is not as good as a real singer is, i can see passion and soul and the uniqueness that you can distinguish from other musicians. I also noticed that his lyrics is his story, but not 100% sure of that though. He's very cute too oohhhh. He was also awarded as Neon Limelight's Number 1 male vocalist of 2008! Cool huh! Here's one of my fave single "I Have You To Thank". Ooohh loving Gavin Degraw more!!! Byers Peeps. Winn Out.

I'M JUST ANOTHER PETE YORN'S GIRL

Hi Peoplehood.

I've been sulking for days now and i really need to retract it so what i did was to play music nonstop or watch a tv series marathon so i could plant good thoughts and keep me sane nyahah. Since i'm in my music/tv mode, i want to share some of my favorite musicians that ive discovered thru the tv shows  i've watched  cause im really into soundtracks eversince i've heard Chantal Kreviazuk sang "Feels Like Home" in Dawsons Creek (cheesy?yeah. ive been there. :) Thank God for the internet i can easily search for the title's track or artists now, unlike then, i have to buy tons of music magazines just to look for a certain artist, song lyrics and most of the time i cant even find it. Pete Yorn is one. 

I first heard Pete Yorn in one of the episodes of Dawsons Creek but i had a hard time looking for the track even the artist cause i thought it was R.E.M. who sang it. That was i think the late 90's and the next time i heard it again was the first season of Veronica Mars and its already 2006. The title was "Just Another". I love the song much i never get tired of hearing it. His voice do sound like REM's Michael Stipe, just lighter... warmer...a different twang and of course he's more goodlooking. He's toured with REM though along with Foo Fighters, Dave Matthews, Semisonic among others. Unknown to me, he was already one of the 10 to watch back in 2001. Ive listened to his other songs and was amazed in his songwriting skills. He has this certain depth that i can't describe whenever i analyze his lyrics. He's very good in expressing his thought thru his music. Sad to say, i wasnt able to follow his career earlier, maybe im not in my music mode then i have no idea who he is but its okay, music never fades and Pete Yorn's musicality will always be admired by me. Brilliant. Here's videos of my favorite Pete Yorn song.Sorry, i cant  find an official video of "Just Another" and cant embed his videos and i really want to include it in my post so i just chose a video with Logan & Veronica of Veronica Mars. Byers Peeps. Winn Out.

SCOTT MCINTYRE: NO FEAR

Hi Peoplehood.

 

American Idol Season 8 begins! Yipee to all AI fans like me. I'll be glued to the tv every wednesday and thursday again. Audition week started last wednesday and im sure all of you who watched the premiere already have bets. As for me, Scott Mcintyre is my next American Idol. He's the blind guy pianist who sang Elton John and it really gave me goosebumps. He also had a kidney transplant but didn't lose courage. I admire his passion for music and never giving up his dreams. At this point of my life wherein i don't know where to start and depression is getting into me, knowing his story and hearing him sing lifts me up. Either he wins or not in  Idol, I know for sure he'll be big this year. Nothing much to say but surely i'll follow his journey to stardom... just watch this videos of him singing "no fear" and "like a bird". I've also included the " no fear" lyrics, i just hope i got it right cause i cant find the lyrics in the net. Very very soulful and inspiring... watch out.You might cry... i did. Byers Peeps. Winn out

NO FEAR by Scott Mcintyre

 

and when we feel incredible fear

let us reckon that He's always near

did you ever think to say a word in prayer

you know that He will hear

 

and when we feel incredible fear

let us not shed one single tear

even when the road is narrow and confused

you know He'll make it clear

 

now that i know that

its gonna be alright tonight

he's watching with his eyes

i have no fear coz He's always near 

to me he's right here by my side

 

i am afraid

when im lost at sea

and i cant be brave, no no

when i trust in me

these are the times in which 

i called in Him the most

i know He sets me free

 

 a lonely wonderer

walkin on in fear

fearing fear itself 

you conquered it

and rose again

what is to fear

 

REDISCOVERING BAGUIO

Hi Peoplehood.

Panagbenga, The Flower Festival in Baguio City is fast approaching. Held every February and the festival runs for a month. Baguio is my beloved hometown and i'm quite proud that eventhough it was as not as green as before due to modernization, Baguio was still one of the well-loved tourist spot in the country. During the holiday season last December, 150,000 tourist flooded the city so you can just imagine the traffic, whew. I had a chance to rediscover Baguio last Panagbenga festival because my friends from Manila came to visit me and i was "forced" to tour them around the city. It's been a long time since i've toured the tourist spots in Baguio so i was as excited as my visitors were. We went to Wright PArk, The Mansion, Camp Johnhay, Botanical Garden, Burnham Park and my forever favorite spot, Tam-awan Village in Quezon Hill, its where Baguio artists display their paints. There's a lot to see in this little village. So cool. There's a still a lot to see in Baguio like the restaurants(the famous among Cordillerans is the Good Taste Restaurant at the back of Center Mall, quite cheap and lot of servings) and coffee shops (Kape Diperensya and Cafe by the Ruins for instance, great coffee here peeps). I'll try to do an issue about the best restaurants, coffee shops, bars and other places in Baguio next time. And if ever you're in Baguio, don't forget to visit the SM viewdeck. Be sure you're there around 5-6 pm so you could see the sunset, its breathtaking. And SM Baguio is the most unique and i think, the most beautiful SM so far in the Philippines, its located on top of the hill and viewdecks were made so you can see some spots in the city. Here's some pics we had during Panagbenga 2008. Sorry some pics are quite blurd. Cant wait for the next Panagbenga this Feb, let the flowers bloom! Byers Peeps.Winn Out.

HAPPY 2009!

Make a Smilebox greeting

DAVID COOK ALBUM

Hi Peoplehood.

My friend gave me a David Cook album yesterday cause she knows i've been a fan since his American Idol days. Ive been listening to it the whole day and almost memorized all the lyrics nyahah. The first thing ive noticed was that a lot of words used in the lyrics are quite unique, i mean, words that are not commonly used in songs and quite hard to put melody in it but voila, David Cook and the other composers really did justice if thats the right term. Some words used were declaration, avalanche, permanent, atmosphere, sensitive and temporary. There are 13 tracks, inluding his Idol piece "Time of my Life" as a bonus track. When I heard all the songs, the first thing came to my mind was that the album is all about how-men-fall-inlove syndrome :). Imagine a guy telling you this stanzas,

"So I’ll let you go, I'll set you free

And when you see what you need to see

When you find you come back to me"

"Here are my thoughts, have some faith in me

and I'll let you be who you need to be"

"Today's not the same as every day

it's far from ordinary

The pain I endure You're my cure

but my mistakes have led me far away from you... "

The first single released was "Light On" ,wherein the chorus goes

"Try to leave a light on when I'm gone

Something I rely on to get home

One I can feel at night, A naked light, a fire to keep me warm

Try to leave a light on when Im gone

Even in the daylight, shine on

And when its late at night you can look inside"

You wont feel so alone"

and a lot more... cool right?.My favorite though is the song "Permanent" . David Cook sang it "soulfully." Light On (Love the arrangement!), Heroes, Come Back To Me, Life On The Moon, Lie, I Did It For You, Avalanche and Permanent are the best tracks. You'll never regret buying this album, David Cook truly deserved to be the Idol of the year. Below is David Cook singing "Permanent" and " Life on the Moon" live. Enjoy. Byers Peeps. Winn Out.

Merry Christmas Peeps!

Hi Peoplehood.

Spending my Christmas after two years back here at home was so refreshing, though my dad's not here physically, i know he'll still be here in spirit. i spent christmas the past two years at work, the negativity of being a call center agent nyaha. Now that i'm spending it again normally, i'm really looking forward for our noche buena cause Christmas is like a family reunion to us wherein all our relatives from the province will gather in our house and kids are all over the place. Christmas is Family as always. Enjoy the Holidays Peeps...Just enjoy the thrill of traffic jams, long lines at groceries, the freezing cold(back here in Baguio), the noise nyaha.... it will all be worth it. Much LOVE and HAppiness this Holiday season....

Prayers to all of us.

Byers.

my first blog @ blogger.com

Hi Peoplehood.

I've been a member of blogger.com for months now, however, i can't seem to start a blog though i've been writing a few in my notebook ( i call it my Destiny quotable cutebook ). it's like a diary with a twist. It contains quotes, dialogues from my fave movies and tv series, my fave text messages received, song lyrics, etc. Anything that i would love to write and its actually handwritten and its quite messy nyahaha. I'll just share some of it on my next blogs. Since i don't know how to start my blog on this site( one reason is, im very amazed on how bloggers write, and im quite shy to publish cause i still have grammar errors. well, its okay though, i just want to voice out whatever the hell im feeling or thinking hehe.), let me just publish the blog i've made in my friendster account months ago, a day before my birthday.it's about my Dad.. well, hope i can still follow this up nyahaha. till my next blogs.

winn out.

9.20.08. it’s 1:19 am. saturday.

i’m here in my pad in manila, alone, just checking my friendster accounts and chatting with some of my friends thru ym.
in less than few hours, i’ll be home in baguio.
in less than 24 hours, it’ll be my 29th year.
i don’t know what prompt me,
i hit the create blog button of my profile.
i just wanna write or type or think or whatever. it’s been months since i’ve made my last blog or write in my quotable quote notebook.
maybe i just wanna tell my story. maybe…
5 months ago, my life changed.
i’m on my way to baguio when my sister called that our dad was rushed to the hospital. it’s his 5th stroke. for the last two consecutive strokes that he had, i was the one who rushed him to the hospital with my brothers and just for a few minutes, he’s okay again… my dad was the strongest person that i’ve ever known because even if he had 4 strokes, he never felt that he was weak. he always thinks that he’s still the same workaholic father who can do anything even if he can’t… i went straight to the hospital hoping that he’s awake just like before. but then when i saw him in the ICU, he’s asleep. my mama asked me to wake him up because it’s been hours and he’s not yet awake… maybe i could be the one who could wake him because i’m his girl… for hours, days, weeks… we’ve waited. but then he just laid there. the doctors told us that we’re just waiting for his time. but we knew our dad. we knew he’s fighting. then, we decided to take him home cause knowing our dad, it’s what he wants. my bro & sis who, are both nurses along with my other bro who followed his steps as a dentist was his “doctors”. in a week they taught me everything that i could possibly learn because even if they don’t want to, they have to leave to work overseas. we were hoping that even if he’s still in coma, we were praying for a miracle. when they left, i took care of him day and night. i’ve learned how to be a “doctor” too. i know that even if he’s not responding, he can hear me. i’m always telling him that even if he just lay there, i’ll take care of him no matter what, i even lay beside his bed, checking every hour his vital signs and suctioning his trach & mouth as needed. he was better at home rather than he was at the hospital. for weeks, his respirator and oxygen was slowly removed. though he was already opening his eyes for a few moments, i don’t know if he can see me but i know he can hear & feel me… i always say that it’s okay,dad. as long as you’re here with me… for months, i never left him or slept unless someone is there to look after him… and then, on a saturday morning, july 5th. it was my dreaded moment… i opened the window, as i always do whenever the sun rises. checked his pulse oximeter and it was okay. i was alone with him. i did’nt know what happened… i just dozed off. i just woke up when i heard my brother screamed that my dad has no motion. i checked his oximeter, it was blank. i tried to resuscitate him thru CPR and even used the ambobag… but then nothing happened.. he was warm but he’s not breathing… my brother told me to give up… i was screaming because if i did’nt sleep, maybe he’s still alive. i felt that it’s my fault. for hours, i screamed and cried… it was my darkest moment. after he was cleaned up, i sat beside him. he’s still warm and when i look at his face… he was smiling. and then, i realized, he can’t feel any pain anymore. he’s already resting… and then i thought, he really love me that much that he did’nt let me see him struggled for his breath. he was the one who let me fell asleep… he just wants to spend time with me even for 2 months because for the past 2-3 years that i’ve been working here in manila, we didn’t spend much time together wherein eversince i was a child i was with him all the time. that’s why he fought for a longer time so that we could be together even for awhile… it’s 2 & a half month since he was laid to rest at heaven’s garden… i went out straight and be with my friends so that i could smile and laugh again…
and its been weeks now that i’m back here to continue what i’ve started… but then… i still don’t know what to do… i still don’t know what i like… i’m not yet focused… . when i’m alone, i’m just staring at nowhere, thinking . i can still feel the pain, hurt, loneliness and emptiness within me…i’m not yet fine, i’m not yet well… in a few hours, i’m going home…in a few hours, its my 29Th year. it’ll be different now knowing that he’s not there to pray for me as he always do whenever my birthday comes.
i’ll be going to see him… i’ll ask for his guidance, to give me strength, courage and will to move on and letting go of all the emptiness that i’m feeling right now… and i know, as always, he’ll give me not what i want… but what he thinks i need and what he thinks is right for me. i know there’ll be signs… i just have to follow, believe, trust him and most especially pray. i know he’s watching over me… he is and he will always be… my guardian angel.